[livejournal.com profile] fandom_muses: Topic 18 - Number One Regret

Apr. 27th, 2006 09:25 am
pez_love: (Jarod Pez)
[personal profile] pez_love
Considering that my life hasn’t been my own for more than a few years, I can’t say I have a lot of regrets because I’ve never had the opportunity to make those kinds of mistakes, you know?

But...if I had to pick just one? I’d have to say that my biggest regret was letting my family down.

Specifically, I’m talking about Kyle. When I learned that I had a brother...a *younger* brother, a certain responsibility fell on my shoulders. I can’t help but wonder if all older siblings feel it...the responsibility of taking care of another human being.

Kyle was my little brother, and it was my job to protect him...to keep him safe. And I failed.

Twice.

The knowledge nearly killed me...not because of a sense of duty, but in finding out the truth about Kyle, I found a piece of myself. Everything he was, everything he did...it was a part of me, because the same blood flowed through our veins. Even at his worst...I know in my heart that if our places had been switched, that could have been me learning to kill under the care of Mr. Raines.

He may have been a little more strong-willed, a little less intellectual, and morally confused, but he wasn’t a bad person. I sometimes wish I could be a bit more like him...freer, not unstable. Kyle was unapologetic, and not just morally...he never ever second-guessed himself, and he probably never had any regrets of his own.

When he came to get me away from Lyle, it only made my own failure worse. It hurt, but in a good way...knowing that no matter what happened, my brother would come for me...that he would save me.

I just wish I could have done a better job of saving him, too.

Muse: Jarod
Fandom: The Pretender
Words: 306
From:
Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
User
Account name:
Password:
If you don't have an account you can create one now.
Subject:
HTML doesn't work in the subject.

Message:

 
Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.

Profile

pez_love: (Default)
Jarod

January 2009

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
1819 2021222324
25262728293031

Most Popular Tags

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jul. 27th, 2017 02:44 pm
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios